Feb 10, 2012

A Bohemian with Boundaries.....

that is what I am...in some areas..I think it is essential to have some boundaries in certain areas of our lives... the personal ones without question... so I have decided to vent a little...

I believe in free expression in many things.....we all have opinions, philosophies  & ideas that differ...it is who we become as individuals...but there are within that mix very toxic people who create chaos and drama constantly...I have been reading many posts lately by fellow bloggers who discuss the same experiences...

There may be many reasons why toxic people behave they way they do... I am of the opinion that jealousy, unhappiness and having their life out of their control is a driving factor ...so if they are not happy they will make sure you are not either... and when it comes to boundaries, they have absolutely no respect for yours in any way...

You can try and get along, be flexible to accommodate them, overlook the rude disrespectful behavior they show you in hopes they will change.. they won't...in fact they seem to get worse...

The best place for people like this is as far away as possible.... I allowed this to happen to me over a period of time...I should have spoken up for myself, making things clear on certain issues (One blogger called it transparency..and she was spot on...that is the perfect word for it)... but I was asked not to speak up...to remain quiet...I sold myself out & I should never have agreed to it... ...The problems should have been confronted immediately..there should have been transparency on many many things.....not that I think anything would have changed but it would have saved me many moons of stress & anger...

Once again the lesson here is to take care of yourself first...it is not selfish to do so...it is preventive medicine...place yourself as much as possible in a healthy environment with supportive people...strengthen your personal boundaries...do NOT let them down...it tells those who are toxic, they are only allowed within a certain distance...and if they begin gnashing their teeth, it is because they no longer have access...

Think of the boundaries as a garden...we make sure that anything that would hurt our plants is immediately dealt with...the pests are eliminated or driven away so as not to kill our flowers and vegetables...

 I had my son and hubby put a fence around my garden to keep out little creatures (& the little ladies **wink** they love beet greens just a little too much) who would destroy my plants....My organic sprays destroy the pests that would eat the life force that will sustain us over the coming months......my garden flourishes because I take care of it..


So why don't we take care of ourselves in the same way...
The fence around my garden has become symbolic...It reminds me to strengthened the walls of my garden of life..to be vigilant.... keeping out the destructive while welcoming in those who would support life will ALWAYS result in good things...

...like the vegetables you harvest from the garden that will give you energy and sustenance...


or the flowers that bring beauty & fragrance to your life...

 Don't you just love analogies on life!!..... and I just ordered some of my seeds so I am in a "garden" frame of mind!!

I will be sharing more about this journey I am on.....maybe it will help someone...I know what I have read from my fellow bloggers has helped me tremendously...and I thank them sincerely....

Build well...

5 comments:

Lisa D. said...

Thank you, Linda

That was a great post and I couldn't agree more!

So glad I found this place the other day.

Have a great weekend

Luthien said...

well said my fren ... well said!!
and ... did those veggies come from your garden??? ((O_O)) woah!!!!

Linda said...

They did come form my garden...and I can't wait to start this year's...glad you liked the post ladies...it had to be said...:)

Veronica said...

My mother sent me the link to this blog this morning and I have to say I was MEANT to be here. at this post. on this morning. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I, too, am selling out allowing someone else to invade, disrespect and all out spit on my boundaries. Unfortunately, he feels that is his right until our daughter is of age. I will learn to be transparent even if I have to phsically show him my boundaries! :) God Bless and have a wonderful week!

Donna said...

Hi Linda.....Thank you...well said:-) I so look forward to your posts, they make me smile and dream. I have a new empty room in my house(daughter and kids moved out) and am planning on making it my Bohemian/Gypsy room.....any ideas? Have a blessed weekend. Smiles.....

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